If two people who had no leave suddenly drops the wall that divided them, and feel close, together, this moment of union is one of the emotions exciting life. It is even more wonderful and miraculous for those who lived alone, isolated, without suffering. The miracle of this sudden intimacy is often facilitated if it matches, or if it starts with sexual attraction. However, this kind of love is for his very nature not lasting love. Gradually, that two people become well-rehearsed, their intimacy loses more and more miraculous character, until their antagonism, their disagreements, mutual forbearance kill what remains of the initial excitement. Yet, at the beginning, they do not know; exchange intensity infatuation, the mad love that binds them to the proof of the intensity of their feelings, and could only feel the intensity of their loneliness. [...]
Love is an active power of man, a power that cancels the walls that separate him from his peers, which makes him overcome the sense of isolation and separation, and yet allows it to be self- same and maintain its integrity. It seems paradoxical, but in the two beings become one and yet remain two. [...]
Love is only possible if two people communicate with each other from the depths of their being, that is, if each of the two feels herself from the center of his being. Only in this "profound experience" is the human reality, only there is life, there is only the basis for love.
Love, felt that way, is an ongoing challenge, not a fixed point, but with a live, animated, even if there is harmony or conflict, joy or sadness, is of secondary importance before the fundamental reality that two people feel themselves in the essence of their existence, that being one being one with themselves, rather than escape themselves. There is only a test to demonstrate the presence of love: the depth of relationships, and the vitality and strength in each of the parties .[...]
The mature love is a union that keeps your entire identity: true love means that two beings become "one" remaining "two".
Often it is not. In fact, you create situations of "symbiosis" (ie in which one lives the other) or situations that generate "domain" or "subordination" in which what appears "Strong" needs "weak" to give themselves an identity and vice versa (in technical terms are indicated as sadistic and masochistic symbiosis).
But the love lives of others (ie the "suck" for nutrimene) but lives on the other: it gives to another. In other words it is an experience "passive" but an "active". Love
therefore can be defined as an inner activity of man, that "produces" and not "made". Love is so free and "realizes" the report. This differs from the passions in which the person is a victim of an external pressure that the cause ("produced" in fact) but that "consumes" the report.
So the mature love can be defined as: the person's orientation toward the world where people do not "consume" but "made" reports.
What is the instrument "production" of the person? The "give".
Unfortunately, the "give" is a concept that has been loaded with ambiguous nuances which must be free. Giving is not "surrender" or "private" or "sacrifice." These views are childish and immature people who do not have reached a certain harmony with his inner: there still behaves in a passive manner to reality. Instead
giving is the highest expression of power and human freedom. In the same act of giving I feel my strength and my power over myself and reality. And this perception of vitality fills me with joy. So there really is more blessed to give than to receive because it is not a deprivation or sacrifice, but because I feel alive in this act shall be myself. In fact, who really gives does not give things but himself. And even in the things of itself. Who likes to give its joy, its interest, its humor, maybe la propria tristezza, comunque manifestazioni di ciò che è vitale in lui.
Se l’amore si esprime così allora “produce” la relazione e genera reciprocità: “dare” significa fare anche dell’altra persona un essere che dà ed entrambi dividono la gioia di sentirsi vivi. Quindi l’amore maturo è una forza che produce amore.
Ma come si esprime il dare?
In quattro modi fondamentali:
premura, responsabilità, rispetto, conoscenza.
Sono virtù che fanno parte della personalità matura, cioè che ha superato i sogni narcisistici di onnipotenza ed ha acquistato l’umiltà dalla sua capacità di sentirsi vivo.
concern and interest for the active life and growth of what we love. A mother who claims to love his little child, but you forget to feed it's a poor love.
Responsibility and the response to the expressed or unexpressed needs of another who loves "answers" because it concerns the life of others. Compared
responsibility alone can lead to "domination" but those who enjoy observing. It is not fear but to see the person as it is (look respicere =) so who want to grow and develop to what it is. Respect, however, is possible if I have achieved independence and autonomy, that is if I stand alone without the need for that hanger that is the rule on or depend on someone. Knowledge
How can I respect what I do not know? There are many degrees of knowledge, but love is never superficial. Go beyond the limit of superficiality is only possible if I can "undo" facing each other for not filtering through my patterns and prejudices to see it as it truly is. [...]
Love is an active power of man, a power that cancels the walls that separate him from his peers, which makes him overcome the sense of isolation and separation, and yet allows it to be self- same and maintain its integrity. It seems paradoxical, but in the two beings become one and yet remain two. [...]
Love is only possible if two people communicate with each other from the depths of their being, that is, if each of the two feels herself from the center of his being. Only in this "profound experience" is the human reality, only there is life, there is only the basis for love.
Love, felt that way, is an ongoing challenge, not a fixed point, but with a live, animated, even if there is harmony or conflict, joy or sadness, is of secondary importance before the fundamental reality that two people feel themselves in the essence of their existence, that being one being one with themselves, rather than escape themselves. There is only a test to demonstrate the presence of love: the depth of relationships, and the vitality and strength in each of the parties .[...]
The mature love is a union that keeps your entire identity: true love means that two beings become "one" remaining "two".
Often it is not. In fact, you create situations of "symbiosis" (ie in which one lives the other) or situations that generate "domain" or "subordination" in which what appears "Strong" needs "weak" to give themselves an identity and vice versa (in technical terms are indicated as sadistic and masochistic symbiosis).
But the love lives of others (ie the "suck" for nutrimene) but lives on the other: it gives to another. In other words it is an experience "passive" but an "active". Love
therefore can be defined as an inner activity of man, that "produces" and not "made". Love is so free and "realizes" the report. This differs from the passions in which the person is a victim of an external pressure that the cause ("produced" in fact) but that "consumes" the report.
So the mature love can be defined as: the person's orientation toward the world where people do not "consume" but "made" reports.
What is the instrument "production" of the person? The "give".
Unfortunately, the "give" is a concept that has been loaded with ambiguous nuances which must be free. Giving is not "surrender" or "private" or "sacrifice." These views are childish and immature people who do not have reached a certain harmony with his inner: there still behaves in a passive manner to reality. Instead
giving is the highest expression of power and human freedom. In the same act of giving I feel my strength and my power over myself and reality. And this perception of vitality fills me with joy. So there really is more blessed to give than to receive because it is not a deprivation or sacrifice, but because I feel alive in this act shall be myself. In fact, who really gives does not give things but himself. And even in the things of itself. Who likes to give its joy, its interest, its humor, maybe la propria tristezza, comunque manifestazioni di ciò che è vitale in lui.
Se l’amore si esprime così allora “produce” la relazione e genera reciprocità: “dare” significa fare anche dell’altra persona un essere che dà ed entrambi dividono la gioia di sentirsi vivi. Quindi l’amore maturo è una forza che produce amore.
Ma come si esprime il dare?
In quattro modi fondamentali:
premura, responsabilità, rispetto, conoscenza.
Sono virtù che fanno parte della personalità matura, cioè che ha superato i sogni narcisistici di onnipotenza ed ha acquistato l’umiltà dalla sua capacità di sentirsi vivo.
concern and interest for the active life and growth of what we love. A mother who claims to love his little child, but you forget to feed it's a poor love.
Responsibility and the response to the expressed or unexpressed needs of another who loves "answers" because it concerns the life of others. Compared
responsibility alone can lead to "domination" but those who enjoy observing. It is not fear but to see the person as it is (look respicere =) so who want to grow and develop to what it is. Respect, however, is possible if I have achieved independence and autonomy, that is if I stand alone without the need for that hanger that is the rule on or depend on someone. Knowledge
How can I respect what I do not know? There are many degrees of knowledge, but love is never superficial. Go beyond the limit of superficiality is only possible if I can "undo" facing each other for not filtering through my patterns and prejudices to see it as it truly is. [...]
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